poem by Nawaal K
Observe! — my animal-like yearning and buzzkill brain.
I fear I am becoming rabid.
A dog in the heat driven to madness.
I want to be held and I want to never be looked at again
[Do you see?]
I make a conscious effort to accept my loneliness.
I plait its hair.
[Allowing myself to unravel as quietly as possible]
I give it its own welcome mat and scribe it sheet music.
When the night comes, I let it smother me to sleep.
I could’ve been something great,
but I don’t even like the way I write.
I think I peaked at fourteen.
Back when life was learning how to order breakfast
in French and hiding books underneath my pillow
when I was meant to be asleep.
I don’t talk to people the way I used to anymore.
I don’t dream the way I used to.
And it’s been years. Oh my god it’s been years.
Nawaal K is a university student who spends her time between cleaning out the stains in her lab coat and rearranging the poems in her notes app.
You can find the ones that survived on her instagram account @flxw.d
She hopes to see you there.